What I’m daring to write about in this blog post may be true. Or not.
You know very well what I’m talking about – the story that Donald Trump wants his likeness added as the fifth President on Mt. Rushmore.
If the story is true, it has a Month Pythonesque-like aura … a bit built around a premise so inane that it reeks of funny by its very nature. I can’t help but laugh, and I wish that I was a fly on the wall listening to Gov. Kristi Noem taking a phone call from some Trump minion – possibly a family member – asking if it was doable and would she please take care of it right away.
To add just the right amount of yucks and chuckles to this equation, it was reported that Noem presented Trump with a four-foot replica of Mount Rushmore that included his face carved beside the other four presidents. In my version of the story, when Trump walks into her office in Pierre, the replica is on a table covered by a fine Irish linen sheet used by Gutzon Borglum’s wife for Borglum family picnics. She yanks it off and shouts, “TA-DAH!!!”
Few people know that it’s actually a butter sculpture now preserved in a deep freezer for display in the Diary Pavilion at the next South Dakota State Fair in Huron, SD, whenever.
If it’s bullshit, which it very well could be, then it’s a brilliant piece of political theater. In this light, the fact that the story made the national press and launched a sea of crap from equally passionate detractors and supporters is marvelously hilarious. Claims. Counterclaims. Points. Counterpoints. Insults. Accolades. Attacks. Rebuttals.
I feel like I’m witness to a tennis match played with turds.
In my version of the “this is bullshit” side of the story, a bunch of New York Times editors and reporters are ending a Zoom conference having reached the point where the quality of exchanged lofty thoughts has significantly waned.
Anybody got something else, asks one editor. One reporter says, wouldn’t it be funny if we wrote a story that Trump gave Bed Bath and Beyond a $2.1 billion contract to put his face up on Mt. Rushmore.
Everybody laughs. One editor thinks, hmmmm….
So, I can’t tell you with any certainty that this story is true, as it is most likely that it is only as true as you wish it to be…..or not.
That it’s funny, however, is undeniable.
It would be significantly funnier if after years of litigation, millions and millions of social media spews, violent protest, and scorched earth funding battles that finally culminate in approval, construction, and unveiling, the newest likeness carved onto Mt. Rushmore is that of Mike Pence.